A Mountain of Imagination

Everyone of us have always used imagination as a powerful tool to create a world which is custom weaved according to us. I have always been imagining about one myself since childhood. I kept decorating it with all the answers to the questions that I always asked myself. Everyone in this life imagines oneself  as a superhero or some character who has the ideal solution for one’s problems. Similarly I also imagined myself to be the one.I imagined myself to be a thought or an emotion which can germinate itself into the minds of people from the seed of words sown below.

 I want to be a thought or an emotion which directs the muscles of cheeks to be pulled apart to take the shape of a beautiful smile. I want to be the thought which raises the level of the reservoir in tear glands and forces it to overflow with happiness. I want to be the thought which directs some extra blood towards cheeks and makes it appear blushing, when one meets one’s life partner for the first time. I want to be the thought which forces the lungs to take a deep breath while standing in a pine forest. I want to be a thought which keeps the eyelids wide open while looking at a beautiful flower. I want to be the thought which irons out the folds from the forehead when one puts on spectacles to read clearly. I want to be the thought which makes the skin pores protrude, while standing in the first rain after summer. I want to be a thought which forces the vocal cords to express exclamation, while looking at a river winding through the valley. I want to become a thought which expresses itself to the bearer as the only thought which contains in itself all love and happiness possible on this earth.

I want to accumulate all the forms of me as thought stated above and pile it up into a single beautiful mountain of thoughts. If I look at this mountain, I see myself as a huge wall of love and happiness; which is spread over different  phases in different forms, collectively called life.  My whole imagination leads me to a point where I can say that this whole life is a beautiful mountain and we need to observe every small movement of the thought induced in us which is a life in itself. 

My Motorcycle Journey – A Himalayan Odyssey

Since homo sapiens have invented the ‘wheel’ — a simple looking device which manifests our emotion of travel into physical reality, we kept adding different metal parts to it and the whole assembly created a magical  portal which can take us to places we always imagine, this magical portal is a motorcycle. I was blessed with a motorcycle in 2009 while pursuing my engineering. This day changed my life forever. 

For me, a motorcycle is similar to a magic wand which can take me to the magical Himalayan lands, where the showmanship of clay is expressed in an extremely majestic pattern called mountain. Motorcycle for me is an emotion which induces in me a sense of satisfaction without any condition. While riding my motorcycle I feel as if I have been genetically mutated and the motorcycle feels like an extension of my physical self. My thoughts and actions seem completely in unison because in every moment, with every turn I feel I am dreaming and completing my dream at the same time. In that moment the time ceases to exist because there is no difference in dreaming and completing it. 

While riding in the mountains, every curve ,every bend opens up a panorama of beautiful landscapes. Looking at these I wish I had an additional pair of eyes to soak myself completely into this nectar of vision. I ride into the cool wind with a hint of mist combined with the smell of a cocktail of pleasant fragrances. As I ride further up the mountains, the distant peaks and riverbeds create a wave-like structure which magnifies every moment resembling my rising heart rate in an ECG machine. The sound of wind passing smoothly over my helmet surface creates a soothing noise which is counterbalanced by the revving sound of the thumping engine thrusting me deeper into a constant silence. In that silence as I look into the rear viewing mirror, I see lofty ice capped peaks and I think I am going away from them but suddenly a subtitle in the mirror says the objects in the mirror are closer than they appear and I feel relaxed. A rhythm of silence starts to set in me as I pass through the curves and hair pin bends, bowing to each one of them by leaning towards them respecting the laws of physics. I pass through the suspension bridge connecting the two mountains with railings of Tibetan prayer flags holding it together over the stream of water/life which mountains give us as a blessing. I keep riding through the villages and hamlets, every one busy in their work, I observe their radiant faces filled with the slowness of life along with burnt red cheeks resembling the heat of happiness from the Sun. As the long ride continues I get into the dilemma whether I am pushing my bike or my bike is pushing me and I keep murmuring the answers within my head and suddenly a huge waterfall comes out of nowhere and I conclude my answer with that vision. Soon I find myself riding into the sunset and I see the slant sun rays blinding my vision and forcing me to raise my hand to block it and it feels like I am saluting the Sun for illuminating the whole day. After munching some kilometers I arrive at my destination for the day but I think I was at the destination the whole day and get confused with destination and journey finally realising it is one. As I lock my bike in the parking lot it looks like it has slept instantly by tilting its neck in one direction and recovering from the marathon ride. I close my eyes to make my eyelid a screen to project the whole day’s recording.

Life is very short. Do whatever you want right at this moment. Don’t push it for the future, thinking there will be a better time. There will not be a better time. Travel, ride, drive, just do it now whatever you want. Take in all the experiences fuelled by your passion. 

Meditation – A journey of self-inquiry

Our lives revolve around a variety of experiences, be it physical or psychological. According to our conditioning from our culture, religion and society, we tend to incline towards certain experiences, and we always try to sustain or seek for similar experiences. We always tend towards finding a predefined approach to every situation that we are going through. All of us have made psychological escape routes for the thoughts and situations that we are afraid of facing. These escape routes are acting as an illusion of a safety net which in reality acts as a catapult that makes us feel that we are going away from a thought but it throws us back at the same thought with double the force or intensity.  When we are not able to contemplate and examine ourselves, then we look around for methods to find solutions. The only mistake we make is that we look outside for solutions which cannot be found because the real problem is us running away from it. It is like a thief acting as a police officer and trying to catch the thief. One person is playing all the parts of this act in his consciousness- the duplicity of deception. Without facing those thoughts and finding solutions of the root causes on our own, we will never be able to find the uninterrupted joy and happiness that we are looking for. The journey of knowing oneself truly is not dependent on a process or anything external . For all our solutions we have to be a true inquirer and not a seeker because to seek is to experience, to look outside. Let’s see what difference lies in seeking and inquiring.

When we seek or want experience in religious and spiritual fields, we want it because we have not solved our problems, our daily anxieties, despairs, fears, and sorrows; therefore we want something more. In that demand for more, lies the deception. The demand for wider, deeper and more fundamental experiences, only leads to a further extension of paths of the escape routes that are already there in us. Every religion or spiritual method is seeking to find out what the truth is or whether there is a reality, or is there such a thing as a state of mind that is beyond time.’ Search’ again implies a seeker, doesn’t it ? And what is one seeking? How will one know that what he has found in his search is true? Again, if he finds what is true – at least what he thinks is true — depends on his conditioning, on his knowledge, on his past experiences; search then merely becomes a further projection of his own past hopes, fears and longings. A mind that is inquiring and not seeking, must be totally free of these two, that is , demand for experience and search for truth. Because when we are seeking we go to various teachers, read their ways of teaching, join various cults and it all feels like window shopping throughout our lifetime.

When we are inquiring, we must find out if the mind can be free from the demand for experience and can completely end all seeking. One has to investigate without any motive, purpose or the facts of time and to investigate whether there is a timeless state or not. To inquire into that means to have no belief whatsoever; not to be committed to any religion, or spiritual organisations, not to follow any guru, and therefore to have no authority whatsoever. Because we are very easily influenced, we are terribly gullible, we are always eager and wanting  for a method to follow. The process of conforming to any authority is not self-inquiry. For most of us vanity is one of the major impediments.  Because we think we know, because we have read a great deal, because we have committed ourselves, have practiced this or that system, followed some guru peddling his philosophy, we think we know, at least a little bit, and that is the beginning of vanity. Our minds must be free to be able to inquire. We must be free from our conditioning, of hinduism, of buddhism, of christianity, of islam etc., along-with all the propaganda of thousands of years , so that the mind is really free to observe. That is very difficult because we are afraid to be alone, to stand alone. We want security both inwardly and outwardly; therefore we depend on people, whether it is the priest or the leader or the guru who says “ I have experienced , that is why I know”. To inquire one has to stand completely alone, not isolated. Isolation is a state of mind in which the relationship ceases, when in our daily life and activity we have actually built a wall around ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, so as not to be hurt. That isolation prevents every form of relationship. Aloneness implies a mind that does not depend on another entity psychologically and is not attached to any person or method. Aloneness implies a mind that is deeply, inwardly without any sense of fear of any sort and therefore without any sense of conflict.

A mind that is willing to learn and not to conform, must be curious, must have great interest, while a mind that already knows cannot learn. We all want to go through some kind of discipline while not knowing what the word discipline means. The meaning of the word discipline is to learn. This very learning brings about order, not according to a design or pattern, but by the very inquiry into our confusion, into our chaotic minds, and into our disorder — there is order. We have to learn about the confusions, about the disorderly life we lead daily because of our conditioning, then as we are getting aware of our conditioning or learning about it, order comes into being. This whole process of inquiry has no set rules or milestones or any levels , as soon as we realise that we are conditioned, we will be able to inquire with freedom, as there will be no fear of failing out on any method and we will be able to see the root of every conflict within us and all escape routes will be atrophied forever. This journey of true self-inquiry or introspection is meditation.

The Conundrum of Mind and Matter

Since the time humans started communicating, we have been developing various symbols and patterns to understand the world around us and as we got advanced we developed languages and new tools to examine the world with a different approach. This helped us to create new theories and find new patterns. Everyone of us think that we are observers of the whole cosmos and the events are happening in front of us. What if we change our approach towards the whole concept of externality?

Everything I know is in my mind and the feeling of externality between me and the other objects and people, is the content of consciousness and therefore it is all my consciousness. This leads to some weird thoughts like, are things there when I am not witnessing or is there somebody else there  or you all are in my personal dream? It might seem laughable but try to think in that way. There are many definitions which define what mind is and what matter is but none of the philosophers or scientists are able to give a certain answer as to how mind and matter have influenced each other. There are many people who preach techniques to get mind over matter. This theory has left me puzzled as to how without a clear distinction between mind and matter people have accepted methods to get mind over matter.  Whenever I think of matter as mindless and mind as immaterial, I get foggy on both sides. Thinking of mind and matter as two different things is like creating two words for a single thing. It is like having a binocular vision. To have a clear 3-dimensional vision we have two eyes ,but the thing we see is one and it cannot be divided, like the vision from the left eye and that from the right eye. Similarly, mind and matter are not two different things and since we are not able to cultivate the perception of interconnectedness, we have created two different entities.

If we look from the biological point of view, it clearly shows us that there is no way of definitively separating the human organism from its external environment. These two are a single field of behavior. The issue is with the way we observe. According to the physicists, by doing experiment or observation, one can alter what one is looking at and we cannot carry out an observation without interfering with what we observe. For example: When we observe a monkey it moves around freely, but as soon as he knows he is observed , he acts differently. So the way of observation always interferes with the thing getting observed. Now what we require is to observe ourselves without knowing that we are looking. Funny isn’t it? This is how we can catch ourselves and look at our best behavior and know ourselves who we truly are. But this can never be done. This issue is faced by the particle physicists as well, when they are trying to observe the nuclear forces , their way of observing changes the way nuclear forces work inside an electron. These statements clearly negate the myth of humans as the objective observer standing aside and watching the world as something external. They cannot be separated.

If we look from the neurological point of view, all the attributes or qualities of the external world, like its colour, texture, weight, sound  etc are all possessed by it(world) in relation to the perceiving organism. There is a famous example in the book Doubts and Certainty in Science by JZ Young , which says that when a tree falls in a forest and if no one is listening , does it make any noise? If we look at the science of the noise we know that the falling tree produces vibrations in air and these vibrations become noise, only if they can reach an eardrum connected to an auditory nervous system. Sound is not something that exists in the external world. Sound is the relationship of vibrating air and certain biological organisms. This vibration in an earless world will not make any noise. This logic is very simple to interpret. Similarly, when we talk about all other sensory organs, we can say that whatever we sense is the relationship or our inclusiveness or oneness with the whole cosmos.

The existence of the world is always according to the perceiving organism.The mountains, the sun, the moon and stars are strictly the inhabitants of the human world.  Animals with their different sense organs have a very different universe, that is animal universe. Every event in the external world is dependent on the observer for its happening. For example :  a rainbow; if the sun is shining and  there is a person standing, if there is moisture in the atmosphere there would be a rainbow. There is no rainbow if no one is watching it. Similarly this is applicable to the mountains, rocks, rivers, fire everything. All existence is a relationship. None of these things constitute existence until related with the neurological complex. Now we can say that the neurological complex belongs to the same world as the Sun, it’s a physical pattern, physical behavior, physical energy. It takes this much complexity of pattern to evoke the world. The world and oneself are the two phases of a single process. This whole existence is like a fabric which cannot be divided into different threads. There is no mind over matter or matter over mind, it is existence as a whole.

A letter from an Orophile

To ,
Himalayas, India.

Subject – Unexplainable attraction towards you.

Dear Peaks, I am writing today to tell you about the overwhelming feeling which gets induced in me every time I think about you. When I look at you I feel a strong feeling to get close to you as much as possible and keep staring at you unaware of my surroundings. The silent moments which you and I share gives me a palette of emotions all at once and in those moments I forget myself as a human and turn into an invisible speck of joyful emotion or bliss. I feel in unison with everything around me and feel like I exist in everything which makes them beautiful, I become the  colour of the trees and flowers, chirp of the birds, unknown scent in the air, burble of river , silent long flight of eagle soaring from the currents of wind without flapping wings till time unknown. I get transported to a place where time, space and gravity have become  meaningless and I feel I am omnipresent in the form of a infinite bliss in everything. I get transformed into an emotion and travel from iced peaks to river beds without any limitation, bondage, obstacles. Someday I will transform permanently into this emotion and travel blissfully forever.

Thank you.
Yours forever
An unexplained emotion.

Corridor of Opposites – An Illusion of Becoming

Human beings have evolved biologically through time and this biological process is replicated everywhere on the earth. For example – Little oak grows into tall oak, a baby grows into adolescent and it goes on with everything which evolves with time. After years of empirical studies, humanity has accepted the fact that evolution or progress happens with time. We always put physical efforts to gain some muscle; here thought or will is manifested in the form of activity which is helping us to be fit and strong, but this doesn’t work in the psychological realm because thought cannot work on itself. Thought is the content of the past ,accumulated knowledge and sensory experience. We have moved from the external field into the psychological field with the same mentality and created a fact, that progress happens with time psychologically as well. Now the question which comes to me is why we have moved the fact of external growth into the psychological growth. Why do we think that the way things evolve in the external world will be replicated in the psychological world?  The only answer that I can find is that this whole concept is designed to have some sense of superficial satisfaction i.e., feeling of attainment, safety or certainty.

As I think about this I find that  authoritarians, theologians, religions, priests, they all have exploited human beings by creating a corridor of opposites and after that created methods to walk through that corridor. Let me explain this with an example. Every religion has shared, that by using certain methods prescribed in their scriptures ,they helped a bad man transform into a good man or achieve enlightenment ,nirvana, heaven, etc. If a ‘bad’ man who tells lies, who does cruel things and probably realizes that he is doing an ugly business and says ‘I will change and become good’. But this is not goodness. Goodness is not born out of badness ,also goodness is not the opposite of bad.

We have opposites in the external world for example: man and woman, day and night ,light and dark etc. but psychologically there are no opposites. Let’s examine further. Like in the external world light is the opposite of dark and if light is non-existent then it is darkness. But, is courage the opposite of fear? That is if fear is non-existent, is it courage? Certainly not. So they are not the opposites. If we go into every possible example we will find that all the opposites are born out of their own opposites and there is no corridor or gap; between fear and courage,  between hate and love or between any one point and the other. This fake corridor of  psychological opposites has been invented by religions so that their authority can be accepted to be working. But in reality there is no becoming or reaching at a point or evolving into Godhead. Becoming is an idea not a fact. Opposites are created to detach from a fact. For example: I am greedy, that’s a fact. I try to become non-greedy, which is a non-fact. But if I remain with the fact that I am greedy, then I can do something about it actually, right now. Therefore there is no opposite. There is no process or method or baptism required to act. We can always act on the fact but as we create a non-fact or an idea of becoming we are stuck in a zone where we cannot act.

My point here is to convey that there is no duality in real life. Either I am greedy or not greedy ,but there is no path or corridor between greed and non greed through which I will evolve over time psychologically. This idea of becoming is the invention of philosophers , intellectuals, priests who always say that there is an opposite work for that. For example: If I say I am violent, it is a fact ,that’s all. Let me deal with that , and to deal with that, don’t invent non-violence. If I see a precipice, I will move back immediately rather than inventing an opposite and try to reach there. If I see a danger I don’t have to invent its opposite to act on it or develop a training program to run away from it. If I see danger, I don’t go near it ,that’s all.

There is no end to the examples which can be discussed, but the crux of this whole blog is to share what I feel about this whole game of illusions which has been going on since millennia and how almost everyone of us has been a victim of this becoming and handing over ourselves to the people who created the illusion. Don’t allow yourself to be the victim of this duality otherwise it is like a fish asking a monkey for help and the monkey puts it on the topmost branch to save it from drowning. There is no gradual progress psychologically, so don’t fall for this illusion.

Finding Freedom

Everyone around the world is leading their own individual life unrelated to others. Unrelated means functioning from an isolated centre and this centre, this self is the source of difficulty in any relationship. Isn’t it true that this self is the origin, the beginning of all the contradictions, divisive approach or self-centred approach? We all are trying to be an ‘organised self’ and want other people to act in the same way, so that we have a homogeneous society; ignoring, that this very self is the fundamental cause of the whole disorder. The very nature of the self is to create a virtual boundary which must intrinsically bring disorder. By creating multiple ‘organised self’ we want to create a better society. But basically we are expanding that division which will eventually lead to creating something larger than the society like a city, a nation etc. And as we try to increase our tribe, we are creating more and more wars, sufferings, etc. The major issue is that we are programmed to act in a certain way, for eg. I am programmed to act as a Hindu and someone else is programmed to act as something else, and we all go through this life without introspecting and looking at what we really are. Where is the freedom if we are just mechanically conditioned to act in a certain way? If a person is allowed to roam around in a confined space is that a freedom? Freedom has no condition or limitation otherwise it is not freedom at all.

Freedom is joy, love, compassion or something which is independent of time and it cannot be achieved through mental confinement or isolation or any other method. We will have to take a journey psychologically, to question why 7 billion of us fail to live freely externally? According to my understanding , we all are programmed to be isolated psychologically and want to project freedom externally. The external world we see is the actual projection of that self which is divisive in nature and is an isolated one. Can we as human beings achieve freedom externally without breaking the psychological boundaries? Our activities are the physical manifestation of our psychological thought, so any amount of external repair won’t bring freedom to us even if we try for thousands of years. It has to start from within, we have to achieve psychological freedom through introspection. The freedom and eternal bliss that we are looking for lies within us. The day we perceive this, we will be able to achieve Freedom. There will be no individual identity to fight for and that instant perception of immense Freedom will stay forever beyond time and space.