Meditation – A journey of self-inquiry

Our lives revolve around a variety of experiences, be it physical or psychological. According to our conditioning from our culture, religion and society, we tend to incline towards certain experiences, and we always try to sustain or seek for similar experiences. We always tend towards finding a predefined approach to every situation that we are going through. All of us have made psychological escape routes for the thoughts and situations that we are afraid of facing. These escape routes are acting as an illusion of a safety net which in reality acts as a catapult that makes us feel that we are going away from a thought but it throws us back at the same thought with double the force or intensity.  When we are not able to contemplate and examine ourselves, then we look around for methods to find solutions. The only mistake we make is that we look outside for solutions which cannot be found because the real problem is us running away from it. It is like a thief acting as a police officer and trying to catch the thief. One person is playing all the parts of this act in his consciousness- the duplicity of deception. Without facing those thoughts and finding solutions of the root causes on our own, we will never be able to find the uninterrupted joy and happiness that we are looking for. The journey of knowing oneself truly is not dependent on a process or anything external . For all our solutions we have to be a true inquirer and not a seeker because to seek is to experience, to look outside. Let’s see what difference lies in seeking and inquiring.

When we seek or want experience in religious and spiritual fields, we want it because we have not solved our problems, our daily anxieties, despairs, fears, and sorrows; therefore we want something more. In that demand for more, lies the deception. The demand for wider, deeper and more fundamental experiences, only leads to a further extension of paths of the escape routes that are already there in us. Every religion or spiritual method is seeking to find out what the truth is or whether there is a reality, or is there such a thing as a state of mind that is beyond time.’ Search’ again implies a seeker, doesn’t it ? And what is one seeking? How will one know that what he has found in his search is true? Again, if he finds what is true – at least what he thinks is true — depends on his conditioning, on his knowledge, on his past experiences; search then merely becomes a further projection of his own past hopes, fears and longings. A mind that is inquiring and not seeking, must be totally free of these two, that is , demand for experience and search for truth. Because when we are seeking we go to various teachers, read their ways of teaching, join various cults and it all feels like window shopping throughout our lifetime.

When we are inquiring, we must find out if the mind can be free from the demand for experience and can completely end all seeking. One has to investigate without any motive, purpose or the facts of time and to investigate whether there is a timeless state or not. To inquire into that means to have no belief whatsoever; not to be committed to any religion, or spiritual organisations, not to follow any guru, and therefore to have no authority whatsoever. Because we are very easily influenced, we are terribly gullible, we are always eager and wanting  for a method to follow. The process of conforming to any authority is not self-inquiry. For most of us vanity is one of the major impediments.  Because we think we know, because we have read a great deal, because we have committed ourselves, have practiced this or that system, followed some guru peddling his philosophy, we think we know, at least a little bit, and that is the beginning of vanity. Our minds must be free to be able to inquire. We must be free from our conditioning, of hinduism, of buddhism, of christianity, of islam etc., along-with all the propaganda of thousands of years , so that the mind is really free to observe. That is very difficult because we are afraid to be alone, to stand alone. We want security both inwardly and outwardly; therefore we depend on people, whether it is the priest or the leader or the guru who says “ I have experienced , that is why I know”. To inquire one has to stand completely alone, not isolated. Isolation is a state of mind in which the relationship ceases, when in our daily life and activity we have actually built a wall around ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, so as not to be hurt. That isolation prevents every form of relationship. Aloneness implies a mind that does not depend on another entity psychologically and is not attached to any person or method. Aloneness implies a mind that is deeply, inwardly without any sense of fear of any sort and therefore without any sense of conflict.

A mind that is willing to learn and not to conform, must be curious, must have great interest, while a mind that already knows cannot learn. We all want to go through some kind of discipline while not knowing what the word discipline means. The meaning of the word discipline is to learn. This very learning brings about order, not according to a design or pattern, but by the very inquiry into our confusion, into our chaotic minds, and into our disorder — there is order. We have to learn about the confusions, about the disorderly life we lead daily because of our conditioning, then as we are getting aware of our conditioning or learning about it, order comes into being. This whole process of inquiry has no set rules or milestones or any levels , as soon as we realise that we are conditioned, we will be able to inquire with freedom, as there will be no fear of failing out on any method and we will be able to see the root of every conflict within us and all escape routes will be atrophied forever. This journey of true self-inquiry or introspection is meditation.