Existence – A Palette Of The Universe – An Integration Of Nothingness.

Since childhood I always felt that Existence as such was weird. Here we are on this Earth, isn’t that odd?Well, of course it’s odd. Now the question comes , what do I mean by odd? Well, that’s different from even. What’s odd stands out and what’s even lies flat. But we cannot see the outstanding without the flat background. Here we are standing out , it’s odd. Each one of us is odd : strange, unique, particular, different. How do we know what we mean by that, except against the background of something even, that is not differentiated, like space or universe?

I get this curious itch in mind and I start to think why is that so? After a while I think that is a meaningless question, but the curious mind takes me to science and other investigations to find out about the unexplained how of everything.

I want to know what it is, this happening, this thing called existence. I have asked this question to myself long enough and it suddenly hit me that if I could answer it, I wouldn’t know what terms to put the answer in.

When we investigate the properties of nature, we do get some answers. All the answers are in terms of particular structures, forms, patterns; and these can be measured and their behaviour can be predicted.

But when I ask myself, what are these forms and patterns made of, like what is it really? I cannot think of anyway in which I could answer the question. Because I would have to have a class of classes.

It is like saying, are you an animal, are you vegetable, are you mineral? Are you male or female? Are you Christian or a Jew or Hindu etc? We always classify ourselves to give an answer to the question, what is it?When we classify we distinguish an inside group from an outside group.

So what we want to know is, what is the group of all groups? We  cannot imagine what the outside would be, so we cannot answer the question what is it?

Even the physicists have finally abandoned the quest for stuff and they gave us the description of the universe entirely in terms of form, the pattern, not the stuff. Now what’s the pattern made of? Surely there must be an answer to that. When we look at the stuff through the microscope, all stuff turns into form, it becomes articulate. A piece of cloth looks like some sort of stuff but when we look at it under a microscope, we will see the crystalline structure of cotton, or whatever it’s made of. We wonder what these crystals are made of? We magnify the microscope further, we find molecules. We magnify further, we find wavicles. The wavicles must be of something, but they are not. 

We find that substance or stuff totally vanishes as we try to understand it. 

How does it matter?  What does this mean? Is it important? Or in other words, does it measure upto anything?

Matter comes from a Sanskrit root ‘Matra’, which means to measure. From this root ‘Matra’ we get another word ; Maya. Maya is generally translated as illusion, although it also means magic, creative power. The word illusion switchover, we get that from Latin, and that comes from the Latin ‘Ludere’; to play. So are we trying to measure the play of this creative power by still remaining a part of it? It is like I am trying to bite my own teeth.

The world is a musical phenomenon. Good music never refers to anything except the music itself. We cannot ask a musician what do they mean by music. What is it intended to express? Listen, that’s the meaning.

Trees are treeing, stars are starring, clouds are clouding, rain is raining, and if you don’t understand ,look at it again.

We notice that all these suchnesses, appear and disappear, they keep changing, they come and they go. But if we get hung up on our particular form, it creates a duality, whereas we are our form, we are what we are doing.

Existence to me is nothing but an integration of everything that exists. We are a pattern or a form which is drawn from the palette of the Universe. We are just a mixture of certain elements which is sustained by another mixture of elements; whose existence is not traceable.  We are that vast thing that we see far off from our telescopes. We are all as much continuous and rapidly changing with the universe as the waves with the ocean.

This may be the meaning of existence ; or maybe the meaning of our existence is actually not within the scope of our understanding.